Comparison is a thief of joy

For many years I sat watching people take over the internet. Their flashy Facebook pages, shifted to Instagram and now carried over to multiple other platforms. They curated their life in such a way that it was appealing to everyone that scrolled through, admiring their aesthetic. The clean crisp houses where everything was in order. Their kids all dressed up and looking nice all the time. Their perfectly manicured appearance, face, eyelashes, nails, lips, etc. The places they would travel and the pictures they would take for content. I was jealous.

I would count the ways i didn’t measure up and stuff myself into a box, afraid to show the world the real me. Because what’s interesting about me? I’m just a mom. I’m just a wife. I’m just a doula. I’m just a basic woman trudging through life trying to be a good human. But what’s that? I wanted to be somebody. Somebody that was admired and curated.

I’m not sure when things shifted, but I stopped looking at others pages and social media lives and started to focus on my own. I started to focus on the things in my life I truly wanted to change - for me, not for anyone else. I struggled a lot with self care. True self care. Showering, brushing my teeth, taking care of my body and the house I live in. Not for anyone, but so my nervous system would feel good and I would feel safe and taken care of.

But there is beauty in the life I have created. I don’t have it together. My life is anything but curated. My house is a mess most of the time and I can’t seem to do more then a couple things well without the rest of my life falling short. If I don’t have to work I likely won’t shower and I will go out of the house looking like a bridge troll. But I’m honestly ok with it. I can say without a doubt that what I thought I wanted when comparing myself to others, isn’t what I want anymore. It wasn’t all bad. I did learn a lot - what I want and what I don’t - there’s so much value in that!

I don’t ever want to be someone that presents a life that isn’t real. I try really hard to be as transparent as I can, while still keeping things private and special. I’m never going to be like anyone else, because I am me, and that’s perfect in every way.

Stop comparing yourself to the people you see on social media. The way they look. The way they write. The way they make things look whimsical and beautiful. And instead, start to see your life through a different lens. Start to see your life and all the beauty you can curate for yourself. Someone said comparison is the thief of joy, and I can attest to the truth in that. Set yourself free and live just for you.

I’m not saying that the people we see that have these beautiful posts are bad, or not real. Because they are, and I know lots of them and they are amazing. What I am saying is you’re worthy of feeling like you belong in this world and if scrolling and seeing someone have a life you want or you become jealous and start to hate yourself because you don’t measure up - it’s time to do some work and change that narrative in your head. You deserve to be free!